Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I noted in my last post that my current job consists of at least twelve hour shifts, and that is accurate, but, I should also say that the majority of those hours are spent doing absolutely nothing, as will be proven in this post. I mean, most of the time, there really is simply nothing to do. I'm a manager, so I do very little work myself, I just tell people what to do, and, really, at this point, I don't even do that because all my workers do what they're supposed to by now.

So anyways. I was sitting around today in my "office" - it's not really an office, just a storage area adjacent to one of my bars which I have adorned with a few chairs and a fan - with Shane, a very old dear friend of mine who works as a porter for the company. Shane and I grew up down the street from one another and have been best friends since midnight hide-and-go-seek was the most fun a kid could have. While sitting there and talking about how bored we were, Shane suddenly said, "you want to make some mazes?"

Now, in 9th grade Shane and I had this one math teacher, Mr. Forgette, the man was crazy (somehow Shane and I always had classes together with the oddest teachers... don't even get me started on our English teacher that year, Mr. Spira, who one time walked into class, looked around, and said "I'm not happy with this class today" and proceeded to hop out the first story window and walk off not coming back until 2 minutes before the class got out...). But Mr. Forgette was just hilarious. It was an AP math class, so he didn't really care too much about the curriculum, and any time you didn't want to listen to his lecture all you had to do was raise your hand and say "Mr. Forgette, I don't understand Cold Fusion" and the man would immediately turn off the overhead projector and ramble on and on about cold fusion (we pulled this trick in excess of twenty times that year and it ALWAYS worked). To this day I have no idea what cold fusion is, or really anything he said - one time I had a question about a test, and I went up to his desk and stated my question, and he just said "ah, well... you ever been to dunkin donuts?" I just stared at him for a while, and he stared back for a while, and after a while I said "um...yye, yes" and he said "alright then" and so I stared at him, and he stared back, and I slowly backed up and went back to my desk more confused than I started out. I think it was probably some mnemonic device he said over and over in class, that I might have picked up had it not been, coming back to the point, for the mazes.

The mojority of that AP math class was spent by Shane and I, sitting in the back row, creating elaborate mazes for each other to solve. We'd spend the first 30 minutes or so creating, and the last 20 trying to solve.

We were a bit rusty today, Shane apparently being a wee bit rustier on his maze skills then me because here's what he came up with:

and here's what I came up with:

Shane's took me roughly 20 seconds to solve.

When Shane saw mine he said, "Jesus man! I said let's start out basic and work our way up! What the fuck is this.. a teleport??"

Yes, there were teleports in my maze. One of them with an out of order sign on it, just to keep him on his toes.

It took him about 15 minutes to solve.

And I get paid for this shit.

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